Soft Skills

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Internal

External

Interview Process

Offer Negotiation

Exploding Offers

Communication

Giving Feedback

  • How to Give Feedback and Why I’ve Been Doing It All Wrong by Patrick Riley (Medium Article)
  • The Feedback Fallacy by Marcus Buckingham and Ashley Goodall (Harvard Business Review article).
    • Telling people what we think of their performance does not help them thrive and excel, and telling people how we think they should improve actually hinders learning.
    • Extrapolating from what creates our own performance to what might create performance in others, we overreach.
    • Your brain responds to critical feedback as a thread and narrows its activity [...]. The sympathetic system lights up. This is the "fight or flight" system.
    • Learning rests on our grasp of what we're doing well, ot on what we're doing poorly, and certainly not on someone else's sense of what we're doing poorly.
    • We learn most when someone else pays attention to what's working within us and asks us to cultivate intelligently.
    • If you study failure, you’ll learn a lot about failure but nothing about how to achieve excellence. Excellence has its own pattern.
    • If we continue to spend our time identifying failure as we see it and giving people feedback about how to avoid it, we’ll languish in the business of adequacy.
    • Whenever you see one of your people do something that worked for you, that rocked your world just a little, stop for a minute and highlight it.
    • There’s nothing more believable and more authoritative than sharing what you saw from her and how it made you feel.
  • Chapter 10. Emotional intelligence by Goleman.

Goals

  • Why Shouldn't Share your Goals (medium)
    • What Gollwitzer found was that when individuals set a goal that is closely tied to their identity and then share their intentions with others, they are less likely to achieve the goal.
    • Imagine their congratulations and their high image of you. Doesn’t it feel good to say it out loud? Don’t you feel one step closer already? Like, it’s already becoming part of your identity? Well, bad news. You should have kept your mouth shut. That good feeling makes you less likely to do it.
    • When we openly share our goals, we experience a feeling of success that normally only takes place upon completion of the goal. The result? We don’t ever actually pursue the goal.
  • https://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_keep_your_goals_to_yourself (Ted talk)

Empathy

Emotional Intelligence - Empathy

Listening

People will sometimes have excellent ideas and other times will have stupid ideas. Either way, taking the time to respectfully listen sends the message that people are valued and respected. Being open and inviting ideas from others will increase empowerment in your team.

Criticism

Helpful criticism is about making the world better. Unhelpful criticism is about making yourself feel better.

Influence with Data

BS

Miscellanea

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